Some of my writer buddies and I were discussing my latest educational session for our group. I mentioned I had strove for length this time because my first one was so quick if you blinked you missed it. I was already in an interesting mood since my topic was Sexual Tension. I made the joke "Whoever said size didn't matter was wrong." That's when we started discussing things you would never see in a Romance novel. Here's a list of things you wouldn't see in a romance novel. They are not in any order.
He had a little weenie, but he sure knew how to cook with it.
Between the Greek God look a like dressed all in leather on the back of a Harley and the pocket protector toting nerd I'll take the nerd any old day.
Somehow he knew where all my buttons were and yet all I could think about was did I turn off the coffee pot.
Why can't I find a guy like those on Jerry Springer?
I decided even though he was buff, sensitive and everything a girl would want, there was too much to work through to keep him.
I'm looking for a man who takes advantage of me. He doesn't have any money of his own. I have to take care of him. I even don't mind if he goes out with other women.
He was missing his upper front teeth and it made his smile endearing.
The hero and heroine meet in normal circumstances, no misunderstandings, decide they are made for one another and get married. That would be a short book.
I'm looking for the man who's so attached to his mom you can't go any where without her.
Both the heroine and the hero are dirt poor, but that don't matter.
Her butt looked like two hippos wrestling under a blanket, but it was the sexiest thing he ever saw.
Please let him be a snorer! I just love being kept up all night by the sounds of a chainsaw lying next to me.
And finally..
Really, size doesn't matter.
I know there are tons more out there and will probably add more of these later, but it's really late.. or early however you look at it.
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